It’s hard to know if what’s written about what supposedly comes out of right wing wackos like Ann Coulter is true, or if it’s a parody. That’s why I just can’t tell if the “Quizzing Ann Coulter” article that I crossed over tonight is real or if it’s a parody. I’d say parody, but after her declaring that she wished the New York Times was blown up by Timothy McVeigh, it’s hard to tell the difference.
If they don’t live in our reality, we can’t trust them.
Article archived here.Quizzing Ann Coulter
By Bill Steigerwald
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Ann Coulter — syndicated conservative columnist, best-selling author of books such as “Treason,” and human political-grenade launcher — rarely does telephone interviews. She doesn’t trust the liberal press to transcribe her quotes accurately/honestly. But she’s always willing to answer questions via e-mail from the Trib, which runs her column every Sunday. Coulter (anncoulter.com) is on the road plugging “How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must),” a compendium of her columns (uncensored and uncut) that is No. 2 on The New York Times nonfiction best-seller list:
Q: Is there an easy way to spot a liberal, so you will know how to talk to him/her/it?
A: In the “blue” states, every bearded man seems to be a liberal. All the bearded women are.
Q: Of all your columns, which has drawn the most outrage from the punditocracy, and do you have any remorse?
A: “Convert Them to Christianity,” and no.
Q: Why should those lucky readers of the Trib who’ve already read your weekly columns buy your new book?
A: Only about half the book is a “greatest hits” collection, and that includes articles from George magazine and Human Events. My columns should be collected like treasured photos you may have lost over the years.
Q: Do you plan to visit Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show” to plug your book?
A: I’d plug my book anywhere. Well, maybe not at a luncheon of Emily’s List, but almost anywhere.
Q: What is the worst idea liberals have frozen into federal law that you would want to see erased today?
A: The withholding tax.
Q: What is the most dangerous liberal institution in the USA?
A: The “Today” show.
Q: Who is or was the last good liberal, and why?
A: John Stewart Mill. Because that’s when “liberal” meant something entirely different.
Q: How can you tell John Kerry is a liberal?
A: The Botox, fake tans and latex skiing outfit.
Q: Is Teresa Heinz Kerry a strong woman?
A: Yes, if by “strong” you mean “crazy.”
Q: What is the first thing you’ll do if Kerry wins on Nov. 2?
A: Reconsider my safety as a citizen of the U.S.
Q: In 50 words or more, what kind of a conservative are you, and who are your great intellectual or political heroes?
A: True blue. Ronald Reagan. I’ll leave you to fill in the last 46 words.
Q: Why don’t you convert to libertarianism? You and John Stossel could get married and save America.
A: Libertarians are potheads posing as right-wingers. But John Stossel is a fine fellow. I just don’t think I could go along with working “give me a break” into the wedding vows.
Q: Conservatism in America is alive and well: true or false?
Q: Hasn’t President Bush exhibited some dangerous liberal tendencies — huge budgets, Big Government prescription drug bill, his porky farm bill, his amnesty for illegal immigrants?
A: Yes. However, let this not detract from the fact that his election is crucial to the survival of the republic.
Q: Is there anything Bush could say, promise or do that would cost him your support?
A: “I agree with John Kerry.”
Q: Is there anything, anywhere, anytime, that you wrote, said or thought that you now sincerely wish you hadn’t?
A: Yes, a college exam once on which I got a C-plus.
Q: Is there anything you’d like to say to voters of the great swing states of Pennsylvania and Ohio?
A: Quit the dithering and vote for Bush. How many lousy free meals do you need to accept from this guy Frank Luntz?
Bill Steigerwald can be reached at (412) 320-7983 or firstname.lastname@example.org.